


If I Kiss You Again

by BENKA79



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, CocklesDestiel Writers Appreciation, Fluff, Jealous Jensen Ackles, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-20 23:37:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20683829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BENKA79/pseuds/BENKA79
Summary: Misha Collins is a free soul, everyone knows that, but there's a big problem with Jensen... Everytime he sees Mish kissing other people.mm he just can't handle it.





	If I Kiss You Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Legendary-Destiel (Legendary_Royalty)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legendary_Royalty/gifts).

> Hello my friends! This is my first Cockles fic! I wrote this for the Cockles/Destiel Mix Challenge.  
Is based on some theories I have about these two...  
Thanks to Agusvedder for being my beta.  
And because my friend Legendary Destiel gifted me her amazing Cockles fic, I'll do the same! This is my first Cockles fic and is a shift for you my dear! Love ya! I want to dedicate this fic too to my sweet friend Michy Ribeiro, si this is a gift for you too lovely! 😘💕
> 
> The prompt was...  
Rich called Jensen and Misha, "Guys… you need to practice that Destiel Kiss, we need to film that in a week." He ordered them, and disappeared behind the trailers. Jensen and Misha looked at each other and blushed. That was a thing they were avoiding, but now… they had to be professionals and just do it.

Jensen stood up sharply. There he was again, now kissing Kim? In front of everyone? Why was Misha like that? He was like… everyone's man. He didn't blame people, the guy was dazzling, and when he was near, he couldn't stop watching his eyes, with those large and black eyelashes, his eyes seemed to be delineated… making his blue being more blue… and that perfect nose, drawing a perfect profile… and those lips… so damn plumped and pink… yeah… so pink. They made his eyes even more blue! And his tanned skin like… okay… he should stop. He didn't even know why he was so gay for Misha. He didn't know why everyone was so gay for him either, it was like if he was a kind of … sorcerer or something.

Hell… there it was again… that feeling in his stomach. Painful… and physical… this affected him so badly as always… he couldn't see him with others like that.

But Misha Collins was a free soul…

Even Vicki accepted that, well… Vicki was a free soul too… 

Jensen lowered his face, biting his lower lip with anger. He turned around to walk away, but he heard Misha calling him.

"Heya Buddy!"

Jensen coughed just to throw away his feelings, he faked a smile and turned on his heels to face Misha. Shining as always. And that smile could replace the sun itself.

"Hey! What's up?"

"Well, Rich sent me, he wants to talk with us after this" informed Misha, so fresh, so unique. 

"It seems he can't wait till Monday…" huffed Jensen avoiding that beautiful gaze, then he pointed to the scenario, where Kim and the others were still answering questions from the fans, "So… that kiss with Kim…"

Misha chuckled and he put a hand over his mouth. He turned around to see Kim, then he said, "Yeah… what a girl…" as if that kiss was nothing, but Jensen had saw him touching her so seductively, making his bowels ache. His fake smile was vanishing at the remembrance of this. 

"Yeah… and last night was Rob… another kiss, huh?" Jensen licked his lower lip, why did he have to put this fucking disgusting topic over the table?

Misha laughed. Yeah. It was funny for him. Jensen pressed his lips, he was kind of anxious with Misha's fresh reaction.

"Rob is so cute, he asked for it… so…" 

"Yeah, you can't say no… everyone wants a piece of Misha…" huffed Ackles, but his eyes were showing otherwise, "You seem to have no problem with  _ that _ " This last quote sounded rude, so Misha's laugh faded, and now he was showing his serious face to him.

Before answering that, Misha stared at the floor, and he crossed his arms on his chest and then he looked at him in the eye, with his eyebrow raised, man… he was mad… and hot.

"And  _ do you _ ?" Asked Collins with such Dom energy.

Jensen avoided his intense gaze again, and scratching his nose, he said, "Well… you can do whatever you want…"

"Of course." Misha cut him off, then he buffed, and passing by him, he added, without turning around to see him, "See you later with Rich."

When Jensen watched him walking away, he shook his head slightly, and closed his eyes. Why did he have to be such a dumbass? Misha was a free soul. That meant… he was everyone's.  _ Everyone wants a piece of Misha? Yeah… and he wants him entirely, just for him. _

Jensen suspected what Rich wanted to talk about… weeks ago the writers and producers were deliberating if they will go with the  _ Canon Destiel _ plot. That made him nervous… and anxious… because that would mean… a kiss. A kiss with Misha. 

Jensen blinked, he didn't want to go there… a kiss… that would be dangerous for him. He was daydreaming with this man since the day he met him. He had found himself sometimes flirting with him… and those heart eyes of his, captured by fan camera...  _ Jensen heart eyes Ackles _ , that's how the fandom called him.  _ Damn _ ! They even had a name for them…  _ Cockles _ . 

Ackles caressed his hair, and he sighed… he didn't want to recall that night, but each time he had Misha close to him… he couldn't help it…

They were drunk… and they were at a party in the JibCon, and they were giggling, and flirting and… Jensen kissed him all of a sudden. He couldn't forget the warmth and soft lips of that man. And his eyes looking back at him confused. Jensen wanted to die right there… but then… Misha… always in charge… he took the glass of whiskey out of Jensen's hand, and placed it slowly on the table. They were outside the dancing room, in a dark park. So… not a soul there. Just the two of them. He remembered his blue eyes full of desire, and his own heart pounding like crazy. He had to catch his breath, because Misha Collins was touching and caressing his nape, and his blues were too intense.

And Misha kissed him… sweet and tender… 

And that was it… a drunk producer had went out just inches from them, but he didn't see them. And Jensen felt terrified. He pushed Misha away, and almost ran away from there… like a coward.

So… he was one of the many people Misha knew he kissed… one just one like others…

Bad luck for Jensen, because Misha wasn't one like others to him…

_ Yeah… _ Misha was a free soul…

They never talked about this anymore. And Misha changed since then. He just treat him like a partner. He was so professional…

And now… there was this  _ possible kiss scene… _

He arrived to the room for that reunion. Misha was already there. He sat by his side, but the guy didn't even look at him.

** _Rich called Jensen and Misha, "Guys… you need to practice that Destiel Kiss, we need to film that in a week." He ordered them, and disappeared behind the trailers. Jensen and Misha looked at each other and blushed. That was a thing they were avoiding, but now… they had to be professionals and just do it._ **

Rich came back all of a sudden "Okay… that's it… I don't know if there's some…" he gestured with his hands, trying to find the words to describe the present tight and  _ complicated  _ situation Misha and Jensen were going through, the cast and producers knew there was something there too " _ tension… _ between you two, so… just solve it or… be professionals, but we  _ need _ that kiss, in a week."

Rich was staring at them like scolding them, Misha lowered his chin and licked his lower lip in distress. Jensen watched him from the corner of his eye, and then he glared at Rich. He was about to talk but Rich raised his hand "Don't care, really, just give me that kiss." The man said.

Misha smiled at him, "Sure, Rich, don't worry." He answered. Always so professional.

"Thanks. Okay… I just… see you later guys and… I'm sorry…" stuttered Rich. He didn't like to put two grown up guys on the line, but they really needed to pull this kiss off, something epic for the fans. He sighed, and left.

There was silence in the room. It was too late. The two men remained in their places. Misha rolled his eyes, and turned his body towards Jensen. 

Ackles offered him a quick glance, then his green eyes fell to his own intertwined fingers on the table.

"We have to talk," said the older one.

Jensen nodded almost sharply, but he was avoiding Misha's gaze, "Sure, sure…" he just repeated.

Misha gave a deep breath, he opened his mouth to say something, but Jensen stood up in a row, his chair almost fell to the floor 

"But right now…" he started to speak, his tongue was trembling,  _ damn _ , why did he have to be a mess around this guy? "Right now I have things to do, so…" 

Misha frowned, trying to understand Jensen's attitude,  _ childish _ attitude.

"See you tomorrow, Mish," Jensen rushed the words, and vanished in a second.

Misha scratched his hair buffing. Then he raised both hands, and clapping the table, he murmured to himself, "Don't say I didn't try." And left too.

  
  
  


Jensen called his wife that night. He was on his bed, but he needed to talk with Danneel, like… desperately. Hearing her lovely voice behind the phone made him feel better.

"Hi sweetie." She said.

Jensen smiled for the first time that night, "Hey babe…" the man whispered, "I have a problem… a big one…" he just threw, the woman chuckled.

"Okay, what is it this time? What happened with Misha?"

"How do you know?" He asked, kind is amazed.

"Babe… you can't stop talking about him the whole time, so yeah, I know you… What happened?"

"Okay… okay…" Ackles tried to encourage himself, "The producers decided to go all the way with Dean and Cas… so…"

" _ What??!! _ " her wife was screaming like crazy, she was a fervent  _ Destiel shipper _ , so this was the best news for her.

Jensen had to close his eyes because the shouts were too loud.

"Have you finish?" He asked, patiently. 

"Sorry babe! It's just… I waited for this for too long!!!" She yelled again.

"I know, I know…" Jensen tried to speak, he rolled his eyes, "Can we just… focus on my problem here?" He requested, waving his right hand, as if he wanted to stop the yelling.

"I know what the problem is…" snapped Danneel, her voice sounded so serious.

Jensen frowned "What?" he waited for her, and she sighed on the other side of the phone.

" _ JibCon _ ? The  _ kiss _ ?" 

Jensen opened his eyes widely. Yep, She knew him well, "Yeah, well…" he stuttered, "It's a huge problem to me…"

"Yes, because you transform something beautiful into a problem, Jen…" buffed his wife.

"It was unexpected, we were drunk, and he… he had a lot of… kisses with everyone and I…."

"That's the issue,  _ right there, _ " Danneel pointed out. 

Jensen stopped and blinked "Where?" He asked, as if he didn't know it already. He covered his face with his free hand, biting his upper lip. He heard his wife laughing.

"You know  _ where,  _ babe." Because he didn't answer, she had to continue, "You want Misha for yourself, you want to be special and unique for him, I told you…" she sighed again, "Just enjoy the moment."

Jensen was closing his eyes. He couldn't do that, like the rest of the cast or people who know Misha… he couldn't do that… because what he felt for him was… that kiss, that night… it wasn't just… just another ordinary kiss for him.

"You know I can't..." He whispered, and his dimples of discontent were more than noticeable.

"I know, honey… maybe if you try to talk with him…" she sounded very concerned.

Jensen huffed, "I'll try… but… every time he's near I… just… screw things… is exasperating…"

"You have to kiss him again, Jensen," she said, and suddenly, her voice got excited again, "And Misha's an amazing kisser!"

Jensen blinked in awe and sat on the bed, "Wait, how do you…?"

"Bye, bye babe! Good luck!" She cut the call, and Jensen stayed frozen, sitting on his bed, phone still in his ear… and eyes wide open.

///////

Jensen had been avoiding Misha the whole week. He always found an excuse to run away each time he saw him. They had hours before filming that scene… and they didn't practice, thanks to his cowardice.

He was now in his trailer, sitting on his couch, hands together as a prayer… his left leg jumping in his place, like a nervous mannerism… he knew he wasn't being professional in all of this. But he couldn't face him… he just couldn't. If he have to kiss him again… damn… everything will be worse for him. He won't be able to avoid his feelings… no more.

He heard someone knocking his door, he was about to open, but he felt Misha's voice and stopped right there… 

"Jensen, are you done with this  _ hide and seek game _ ?"

Jensen gulped, and he approached slowly to the door. 

"If you don't want to talk about… whatever, just be professional and let's talk about the scene we have to performance in a few hours." The voice sounded demanding, and mad, and tired. 

Jensen pressed his lips with anxiety. He was about to open when he heard Misha again, "Okay, fine, do whatever you want, I'm sick of it." 

Those words made Jensen to open the door brusquely. 

Misha looked at him puzzled.

They stared at each other, muted and breathing hard. Misha seemed very mad. 

"I'm sorry… I do wanna talk with you."

Misha nodded, "We don't have much time but…"

"I have… this…  _ thing _ inside of me since…" Jensen started, they were both at the door.

Misha sighed, "Since that kiss in Jibcon," said Misha, dropping his gaze to the ground. 

Jensen watched him, the guy was dressed as Castiel, looking so damn beautiful.

"Yes… with  _ that, _ " Jensen replied, and his cheeks were tinting red.

Misha looked at his eyes. His blues were the most enchanting fucking thing Jensen had seen in his life. There was no other thing more dazzling than Misha Collins's eyes. 

"Jensen, we were drunk… and you… look, it was a mistake, I guess…" the older man tried to justify Jensen's cowardice. 

Ackles lowered his chin, and trying to get out of that thing he had in his throat, he said, "I wasn't… I didn't want to be… just another guy you kissed… I… felt…"

Misha straightened in his place "You thought that kiss meant nothing to me?" He asked, confused because he didn't expect him to say that. 

Jensen crossed gazes with him, and the silence was there again. 

Misha seemed different now, he was hurt, "You are wrong." He said.

Jensen didn't know what to say, his heart was beating so fast, he was afraid Misha could hear it.

"You don't know me." Misha added, and his eyes… his eyes so sorrowfully looking back at him.  _ Jensen… what did you do? _

Misha raised both hands and looked away, he gave two steps backwards, "Forget it." He finished, while he was leaving.

That was it… he screwed up things again. 

Jensen checked no one was around, and he entered inside his trailer, he needed to prepare for the hardest scene of all he had to film.

//////

They were filming now, no words before that… just the script. The scene was in the Bunker's kitchen, Dean and Cas were discussing, and suddenly… Cas had to say…

"Why do you still think you don't deserve to be loved?" 

And Dean had to eye fuck him. They were looking at each other so intensely. Jensen had to swallow.

"I don't know what you mean."

And now Misha was approaching him with such dominant energy. Jensen checked him out, he needed more air to breath there…

"Well… I love you." Said Cas, and Misha's lips twitched. 

Jensen fixed his eyes with those blues. He parted his lips… his heart was pounding hard.

"Do you??" He asked, "I'm not just another mission you have to fulfill…?" Dean stuttered. 

And it was hard to see Misha hurt again.

"No…" the angel whispered, touching with trembling hand Dean's cheek, "You're not just another mission," Misha licked his lips, and Jensen was too nervous, he almost forgot they were filming, it felt so real… "You're my special soul… my everything… can't you see it? Why are you afraid?"

"I've never felt this… for anyone… for any man or woman…" murmured Jensen, and a tear ran through his cheek. Misha smiled sweetly.

"I don't know how to love you without fears…" Jensen was almost crying now.

Misha kissed him softly, and he remained quiet, receiving that first Destiel kiss as if it was his.

"I'll show you how…" Castiel robbed Dean's lips with his own, and they kissed each other, beautifully and deep.

Jensen reached Misha's back, when the director screamed, "Cut!" And they stopped.

"Congratulations, guys! It was beautiful!" Screamed Rich, hugging them tight, "We should celebrate, fans are gonna love this! You did a great job!" 

Jensen and Misha smiled at him, and then they stared at each other. Jensen was about to say something, but a producer came for Misha, they needed to talk about a fight scene he had to film later.

//////

Jensen waited for him outside his trailer, when he saw him passing, he intercepted him like a flash.

"Hey, Mish!" 

Misha stood up in awe, he didn't expect Jensen still being there. It was really late.

"Hey, what's… why…?" Collins was smiling, and Jensen felt his heart skipping a beat.

"Yeah I…" Jensen didn't know what excuse to choose, then he decided… maybe he didn't need an excuse, "I wanted to see you... Do you have time for a beer?" 

Misha blinked, and then he understood, they felt the same on that scene, the dialogues had fitted perfectly… they didn't need more words. 

He chuckled, and lowered his face in that devastating way. "Of course, Jensen." Then he fixed his eyes on him again, his seductive gaze invading Ackles's body "Do you want to finish that Destiel scene?" 

Oh, hell yeah...this was the Misha Collins before that episode in JibCon.

Jensen huffed… he got this one "No," He answered, showing Misha a half and beautiful smile, "I want to finish that kiss scene in JibCon."

They laughed, like two school boys in love, then Jensen showed him the way to his trailer, and Misha and him walked together, giggling and laughing, until the door was closed behind them.


End file.
